September 21, 2025. 7pm.
The ambulance came. They tried everything. But God had already called him home.
That night, I had two choices. Fall apart. Or hold onto God and find my way through.
My Journey with God Through My Season of Mourning
"You don't have to walk this alone.
Walk with me."
When I didn't know if I would make it through the next day. When I wasn't sure God was still listening. When the pain was so big I could barely breathe.
That is not theory. That is not someone else's story. That is my actual life — as it happened. One foot in front of the other.
You will not find someone who has it all together. You will find a real woman and her God, walking through the valley — one day at a time. Still walking.
If you have lost someone and grief has changed everything — or maybe it is something else entirely, something only you understand. Whatever brought you here, you do not have to carry it alone.
Walk with me.
Not just loss in the abstract. Your soulmate. Your companion. The one whose side of the bed is still empty. I know that silence. I sleep beside it every night.
You believe. And yet. You are angry. You are confused. You are asking why. Grief and faith are not opposites — they are partners in the journey.
The world moved on. But you didn't. The food stops coming and you have to make your own. The calls go quiet. And the grief gets bigger, not smaller. You need someone still there with you. I am still here.
You don't have to perform strength. You don't have to smile through it. Faith doesn't mean you don't break. It means God is with you in the breaking. You walk through it — not around it. Through it. This book shows you what that actually looks like.
Not theory. Not five stages. Not clinical. A real woman's real grief, mapped day by day, with faith as the thread that held it all together. Something you can put in someone's hands and say — she was there too.
"I was here. I lived it. I know what it feels like. And I am still here. I was you. I am you.
You don't have to walk this alone. Walk with me."
September 21, 2025 to March 8, 2026. Not reconstructed. Not polished. Exactly as they were. Grief in real time.
The first three months. When everything feels impossible. When you can't imagine surviving the next hour, let alone the next day.
Months four to six. When you start to find your footing. When faith starts to feel possible again. Not healing — carrying.
Not selected after the fact. These are the scriptures I turned to in that moment, on that day, when I needed God to meet me exactly where I was.
So you know you are reading the words of a real woman, who walked a real valley, and came out the other side still standing.
A blessing. A reminder. A promise that you will get through this. And that God will be with you — every single step of the way.
Just truth. The kind that only comes from someone who has actually been there.
Just real faith. Faith that holds on even when it doesn't understand.
Just raw, honest, real grief. The kind that is too big to dress up or hide.
Just compassion. Just the knowing that you will make it through — because I did.
"It is possible to fall apart and still hold onto God. To grieve deeply and believe strongly. To question everything and trust anyway. To walk through the darkest valley and come out the other side — still standing, still believing, still here."
Hard times. I had an absolute meltdown today. It took all of my strength and my children's strength to bring me back.
My dog Hutshe was outside and heard my screams. She ran as fast as she could to get to me — tried to run through the door — then laid at the back of the house howling with grief.
Hutshe — she heard me. She stayed.
I asked my kids: save me before I can't come back. It took over half an hour to pull myself together. It took so much strength to achieve this.
I have never experienced so much grief and pain. Thank goodness I came back around. It is so easy not to — the pain is unbearable.
"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee."
Isaiah 41:10168 more entries. Every one of them real. Every one of them written in the middle of it.
Finding Solid Ground. Getting Up. The second half of the year. The season when purpose begins to emerge from the pain.
One entry. One scripture. One reflection. Every single day. My voice beside yours.
And every Thursday — the Thursday Gathering. One word. One voice. One community.
In the middle of the night. In the middle of your grief. GET UP is here for you. My words are here. My story is here. And God is here.
$18 NZD · Instant PDF download 70 pages · Read immediately on any device · © Tupou, 2026"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."1 Corinthians 13:12
You don't have to understand it all right now.
You only need to know the ONE who does.
And He is with you. Right now. In this moment. In whatever you are carrying.
The Almighty God (Ahayah).I am a mother. A grandmother. A Pacific woman of faith.
I chose to hold on. But holding on didn't mean I didn't fall apart — it meant I fell apart with God. Every single day for six months, I wrote it all down so that when you found yourself in it, you could find me there too.
What held me up through every single day was my faith in the Almighty God. And that is what this book is — that faith, offered to you.
I am not a grief counsellor. I have not studied grief theory or completed clinical training. What I have done is live it — fully, honestly, without pretending. I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death that Psalm 23 describes — and found it to be exactly what it says: dark, long, and not walked alone.
But God did not leave me in it. And that is the story this book tells.
It is about trust. Showing up. Knowing that even when I can't see the way, He can. Even when I don't understand why, He knows why. Even when I fall apart completely, He catches me.
Every single day in GET UP, I held onto a scripture. Not because I had it together. Because I didn't. The verses carried me when I could not carry myself. And they are in this book now — offered to carry you too.
"The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit."
Psalm 34:18"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee."
Isaiah 41:10That is what I want for you too. Not all the answers. Not a tidy resolution. Just the presence of the ONE who holds all things — including your broken heart — in His hands.
Let my words be your 3am companion. Let my faith remind you that yours is enough. Let my story show you that it is possible — to fall apart and still hold onto God. To grieve deeply and believe strongly.
$18 NZD · Instant PDF download"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."Jeremiah 29:11
Your journey is not over. Your story is not finished. And God is not done with you.
Walk with me.By Tupou · 169 journal entries · 70 pages · Two phases of grief mapped in real time
$18 NZD Instant PDF download — read immediately on any device Get Your Copy NowOn the night of September 21, 2025, I lost the love of my life. What you are about to read is what happened next.
GET UP is 169 days of real journal entries — written by a woman of faith who walked through the darkest valley of her life and came out the other side still standing, still believing, still here.
Every single day. Written as it happened. Raw, unpolished, honest — because grief is not polished.
Written as it happened. Each entry, the same night.. Not reconstructed. Not softened. Grief in real time.
The first three months. The rawest, most impossible season. When surviving the next hour is everything.
When you start to find your footing. Not healing — learning to carry grief rather than be crushed by it.
These are the scriptures I turned to in that exact moment. On that exact day. Now offered to hold you up too.
So you know you are reading the words of a real woman who walked a real valley — and came out the other side.
A blessing. A reminder. A promise that you will get through this, and that God will be with you every step of the way.
Hard times. I had an absolute meltdown today. It took all of my strength and my children's strength to bring me back.
My dog Hutshe was outside and heard my screams. She ran as fast as she could to get to me — tried to run through the door — then laid at the back of the house howling with grief.
Hutshe — she heard me. She stayed.
I asked my kids: save me before I can't come back. It took over half an hour to pull myself together. It took so much strength to achieve this.
I have never experienced so much grief and pain. Thank goodness I came back around. It is so easy not to — the pain is unbearable.
"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee."
Isaiah 41:10GET UP is here for you. My words, my story, my faith — beside yours.
$18 NZD · Instant PDF download Read immediately on any device · © Tupou, 2026“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face.”1 Corinthians 13:12
You don't have to understand it all right now.
You only need to know the ONE who does.
The Almighty God (Ahayah) is with you.Have a question about the book, want to share your story, or need someone to simply listen.
Walk with me. I was here. I lived it. I know what it feels like. I am still here. I was you. I am you.
enquiries@getupfaith.com
I check my email regularly and respond personally to every message.
For churches, grief support groups, or community organisations wanting multiple copies of GET UP — please reach out. Discounts are available for groups.
If you are going through grief and need prayer — please reach out. You are not alone.
"Whatever you are going through — whatever you need to say — whatever you need to ask — I am here."
No judgment. No platitudes. Just listening.
Because that is what we all need sometimes.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."Matthew 11:28 I am here. Walk with me.